ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
