Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
