Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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