i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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