I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
