You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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