Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
