i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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