where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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