A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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