but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
