so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
