That's when you crack a 10am beer
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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