oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
