thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
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