She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize