question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just high enough for therapy.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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