No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I have post one night stand depression
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