At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
