I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
