See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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