I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
