You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
