is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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