My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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