hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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