This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
