You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
