please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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