Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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