I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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