I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
