yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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