That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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