Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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