Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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