Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
