Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
