Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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