Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
