What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
