All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
