you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
