Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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