My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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