Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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