i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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