but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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