walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
