my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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