shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
