you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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