either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
