this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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