She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
