Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
