I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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