Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
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