I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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