i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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