Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Actions speak louder than pants.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
