yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
