I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
